Do you want a closer friendship? Get away from your friends.

Friendships with adults can be difficult to maintain. People leave their college town when school ends, careers start մեր our time is monopolized, socializing during happy hours can lose its appeal when you grow up. And hundreds of thousands of Americans during the epidemic moved from cities in sparsely populated areas full of friends. Consequently, the close friendships we have developed from an early age may seem more likely to end as we lose the convenient ways to stay in touch, such as living in the same place. But the Millennials և Gener Zers are getting married են having children later than previous generations (or avoiding these important events altogether), like him. redefining their relationship with work, making the company stronger. Distance, as it turns out, is not an obstacle in the past, in part due to the fact that some of us keep this relationship alive. boyfriend vacation.

The journey to meet distant friends is usually born out of a desire to have fun, perhaps to relive old memories. That was right for Catherine Stevenson, a 31-year-old executive recruiter in Atlanta. While living in Los Angeles in 2017, Stevenson met his sisters at the University of Oregon for a weekend getaway in Las Vegas. “It was a very silly, totally funny week,” he told me on the phone. But the journey was more than Vegas stereotype. they found that traveling together was a way to stay connected.

Since then, the trio has become more deliberate in developing their long-distance relationship. They met in Minneapolis, in the band, in Oregon, they are thinking of another trip soon. “In the 10 years we’ve had a lot of changes in life, from college to our early 30s, our interactions have deepened,” Stevenson said. And being dependent on that relationship helps him to know himself better. “Nowadays, there is superficiality in our ideas about friendship. The world of Instagram or Facebook gives us a need for more friends, a greater sense of everything. But the opportunity to travel to see good friends shows that you do not need a huge network. You need it on purpose. ”

Friendly travel is a natural response to our technological advancement, with William Chopik, a social personality psychologist, Close Relationships Lab: At Michigan State University, he told me. Thanks to social media և smartphones, which allow us to send messages, e-mail. more affordable “But they do not have to be closer to each other,” he said. True intimacy, Chopik’s research shows, often comes from opportunities for mutual revelation, in other words, through sharing and deep listening. “If you go on trips once or twice a year, you will have many opportunities to discover, to inform people about the great things in your life.”

So, if you can see a friend living nearby more often, according to Chopik, you can end up talking to him. But when you rarely see your friend, և then you և invest և money to communicate, most likely, you will have a more intense connection during that time. . Stevenson agrees. “I’m sending a terrible message,” he told me, “he and his distant friends are not in constant contact. But these trips are kind of an antidote to doing that. ”

Deliberate travel with friends, where people get to know the deeper moments of life, can also develop deep ties that many of us think are reserved for family reunification. Logan Rockmore, a 35-year-old software engineer in Brooklyn, first hired a group of employees / friends for a vacation when they all lived in San Francisco in 2014. The group went to the Russian River on July 4. They had such a good time that they went on two vacations in the same year. Today, Rockmore invites more than 30 people now living across the country on two annual trips, many of them to new locations. Only one of those present still works for the company where the original group met. “Over the years, friends have started meeting new people and bringing them in, and others have made new friends who are welcome,” Rockmore e-mailed me. Although the large group includes some of Rockmore’s friends (now his wife), some people who, like him, now live in New York, there are people he only sees on these trips. “But even I feel really close [them] “Because we have a good opportunity to reach out and talk about ‘real’ things while we’re there, which I think helps to foster an atmosphere of family reunification. It keeps us all really close.”

Many long distance companies also have the advantage of being involved in high stakes. For example, when planning a time with a close friend, canceling may not seem like a big deal. However, arranging a vacation’s renting a house with someone is more difficult when the stress of daily life interferes. This is the case with Catherine Howell and her best friend Heather Ahern, who have never lived together in the same city. Joel, a 39-year-old civil engineer in Seattle, has moved to several cities over the years because of his work, which has made it difficult to maintain local friendships. He and Aher first met in 2006, when they both played in a hockey tournament, which later became their annual event. Still, their company took time to grow. When Howell relocated to Montreal in 2015, he planned to see more often Aher, who lived five hours by car in Salem, Massachusetts. Since then, they have been on weekend tours in New England, with longer, longer vacations. Joel told me that Ahern’s willingness to jump on different travel opportunities to gain new experiences together has helped deepen the deep relationship between the two. So much so that Ahern became the man Joel calls when he has to make a big decision in life. “It’s basically my husband, my family, he’s.”

But in the end, just planning a trip with a friend will not magically make them the best lover. Chopik says there is one strong prediction as to whether the company will be viable. Do you enjoy spending time with them? ” As Joel said, it does not matter whether he և Ahern goes to the beach, making crossword puzzles, or going for sightseeing trips abroad. He is ready to travel wherever he sees Aher, because the important part is “only man”. Chopik pointed to evidence from his research lab that shows that more people say they will prioritize friends than finding a life partner. And although a friendly escape can sometimes seem like a frivolous personal indulgence, Chopik can personally testify that these trips improve a person’s well-being.

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