We all have that friend who is sociable, energetic, no less than happy. They are the lifeblood of the party, You never seem to have a boring conversation with them.
These attractive individuals are often described as “bubbly”, և if you are the type who feels shy or scared in a group environment, it is easy to envy them. Can you overcome these social anxieties and feel more comfortable around other people? Newsweek: Ask psychology and communication professionals how to build trust.
What you can և What you can not change about your personality
Is it possible to change your personality completely? The answer is no, according to Philip Corey, a professor of psychology at the University of London.
“Emotions and behaviors affect genetics and neurophysiology, so in the long run it will be almost impossible to change,” said Core. Newsweek:.
“Of course, an introvert can take an overdose such as alcohol to temporarily become an extrovert. We can encourage introvert to be more extroverted, but because it contradicts their preferred psychological sowing, they will not find it so easy or comfortable. ”
By changing these “rooted patternsIt will be “very difficult, to put it mildly,” according to Cor.
That said, it is possible for people to recognize what kind of personality they have, to address potential issues. This is what psychotherapy is all about. “A person who is ‘high on the neurotic factor’, for example, can train himself to use coping mechanisms that will allow him to ‘not so willingly participate in the negative events of the world,'” he said.
Below’s communication experts explain how you can train yourself to feel more effervescent.
What characterizes a bubbly personality?
Former voice actor Ashley Howard, a professional voice trainer living in Great Britain, told Newsweek: that a human-speaking horse sends messages about them.
“Their breathing, their voice dynamism, how they use tone and intonation in their voices. “I’m thinking about projection and audibility,” he said. “They also use their language, how they use rhetorical tools, images of speech.”
To be sparkling, Howard said that you should avoid monotonous speech, “identical sounds” in pitch or rhythm, or being physically expressionless, like he or she, using repetitive or overly explanatory language.
When you talk to someone, “it seems that not much is happening in the voice or body, you tend to assume that there is not much in the words,” he added. This is a problem he has solved with many clients.
How to become more foamy, according to experts
Try these five tips to help you overcome social anxiety.
Be real, not try to be someone else
Matt Matheson, a speaking coach in Brighton, South England, points out that people who are perceived as frothy do not have certain secret skills. they are just comfortable in a group setting.
He said Newsweek: “There is an assumption that being self-confident, or bubbly, or having this particular thing is really what you need to be. In fact, I do not believe that this is what makes an attractive speaker, or that it is definitely better than having an introverted personality. In my experience, when people realize that this is not the goal, they can unlock it. ”
The question is not “how can you be like that person, but how can you be yourself, be comfortable, be real?” he added.
To do this, Matson suggested using “emotion as a wave.” If you are stuck in a conversation to say something, just ask yourself: How do I feel about it?
“It will open up something real,” Matson said. “In fact, people should not feel that they have to be someone else.”
Work on Rapport
“The ratio is massive,” Matson said.
Frothy people are comfortable when talking privately. If you do not feel that way, you should study how you feel about others, he suggested. This may involve removing your perceptions of social status և power hierarchy.
If you encounter these problems, “take a piece of paper և pen և just write the answer to that question. How would I talk to this man if I had a very strong relationship? ” Matson said. “Think about it, because thinking actually leads to behavior change.”
The goal is to be dynamic
Both Howard and Lori Brown began their careers as actors. He is currently a speech and presentation trainer based in Michigan.
“I think it is very possible to present ourselves as a bubbly personality,” Brown said. “If I want to perceive myself in a certain way, I will use some non-verbal tools to help people subconsciously see me that way.”
Brown likes to share the ways in which people live with others in three areas: visual, vocal, and verbal. Effervescent people, he said, exhibit some of these behaviors.
- Using positive words և phrases
- Speaking with enthusiasm
- Making enthusiastic gestures during conversations շարժ moving your head
- Use a variety of tones, tones և rhythms when speaking
- Finishing sentences with height
- Using open body language, such as strong eye contact, to demonstrate accessibility.
Adopting these habits will not change your character, he said. However, their use can be valuable.
“Part of my job is to help people build new muscle memory. When you start doing things, they become a muscular memory. “Undoubtedly, you can develop your skills,” he said. “Fake it until you get it” sounds humiliating. I would argue with the “fake” part. Can we call it “practice until you reach it”?
Ask questions և be curious
People who want to become more attractive conversations should just be curious, Brown advised.
For many, social situations are uncomfortable because there is a “everyone is looking at me” feeling. This is often accompanied by self-awareness, followed by self-confidence. One way to deal with this is to talk less about yourself, more about the person you are talking to, he or she explained.
“When we are curious, when we really listen to that person, so we do not think about ourselves, we do not judge ourselves, we are really involved in the conversation. We ask relevant open-ended questions because we are really interested. “, – said Brown.
“The other person will really feel like seeing him. And what happens is they perceive you as a great conversationalist, even though all you have done is ask questions. ”
Do a few Abdominal breathing before any stressful situation.
This means taking a deep breath, two or three times longer than inhaling. According to Brown, it can help lower heart rate and blood pressure. You can combine that with what he calls “positive self-talk.”
“I just said. “Wow. I like to do that. “I like to be in a social situation,” he said. “And we repeat it to ourselves until our brains say yes, I guess we do.”
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